Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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