someone threw a dead crab at me
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
