You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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