I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
