Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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