Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
