can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
