your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
This is my gift to your gina
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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