last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
