After last night, I could never be a politician.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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