I need to stop coming to work sober
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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