i dont even know how to be here
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
