So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
