I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
