Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
