once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You need Xanax blowdarts
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
