You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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