How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
