So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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