Nicole vs. Life
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
