She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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