Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's shark week go big or go home
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
