my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
