By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
