I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
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My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
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Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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