I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
