M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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