If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
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just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
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The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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