i will never coherently bang her
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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