I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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