hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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