Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
