so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
