I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
