I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
