so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Well I just put wine in my tea
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
