Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
