I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
