there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
