They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
These tits shall not be calmed
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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