My friends, they love my intelligence
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
