found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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