I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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