I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize