omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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