Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize
