This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Randomize
