He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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