What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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