I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
