I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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