if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
time to smoke my breakfast
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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