Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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