I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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