i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
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