this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm just crazy horny about you
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
