I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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