Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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