i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
