which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
