No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
