I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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